carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
