he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
