ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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