my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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