i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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