Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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