well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
