We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
