The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
