the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
