All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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