My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You ate ashes out of my bong
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
