So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
