Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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