you guys were way drunker than both of me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
