On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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