youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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