Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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