Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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