I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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