I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
