Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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