im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
