on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
