nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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