for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
