No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
