This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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