Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
