i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
