Having a random hookup so left but love u
you traded sex for a burrito?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize