the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
