season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
