If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize