Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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