doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
