i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
