at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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