I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
