as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
