At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
