i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
