I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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