we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
