I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Randomize
