Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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