this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
