Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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