You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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