I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
