Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
