If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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