Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
