he thought i was a dude.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
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My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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