Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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