Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I enjoy the company of your penis
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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