Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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