can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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