Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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