I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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