You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
did i just pee glitter
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
