I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Green mimosas i think yes
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
